Title of today: Letting Go.

yes letting go. letting go of everything i mentioned in the first part of previous post.

i've been staying at home for the past few days with the same old routine. practically doing nothing much. watching drama and reading other people's blog do inspired me one another way. It make me realised lots of things. how should i put it... hmm all i can say is what i've going through was not as bad as other people out there. honestly no one likes their life. maybe majority don't like it. but we all do not have a choice. we just can't let all emotions run all over us, we have to pick ourselves up after some time. yes i believe time will heal.

I will keep believing, believing this world, believing everything, for what it's worth my believes.

alright to let it go, like finally. actually this wasn't the first time of the 'letting go' coming across my mind. it came before. but i didn't want to let go, because to me, letting it go means giving up. giving up all the hopes and believes that i've in them. in another words it means i've to face the reality. The fact that they are not gonna to be there in my life anymore and to realise that things wasn't the same anymore. all along i can pretend but i can't forget. but i guess now i'm ready to face it.

I've never really talked about this to anyone. cause i realised i can't talk to anyone about these. I appeared to be not affected by it. no one really knew how i was feeling deep down. okay well. sad to know that our friendship didn't turn out stronger than what we thought/hope it would be. maybe all along we are deceiving ourselves. perhaps we have different perspective. i never ever thought that the busy schedules of us was the reason that drift us apart. maybe it's just a way to comfort myself or i only used that as a reason whenever people ask/tell me 'hardly see you hanging out with .... these days." but i knew it clearly that wasn't the reason why we aren't. i can understand, and i know you do care for me but it's just a different way. it's important to understand each other, so that we would know how to walk down the road together accomodating each other's needs. but i don't even know whether you are in this with me anymore or does it even matters you. hence i feel very lost in this friendsip. i don't know if i should continue to hold on to it anymore. but no matter what i still treasured you a lot, wishing the best for you (:

Don't know ever since when, you always appeared in my dreams. people always say the more you think of something/someone in the day, more likely you will dream of that. haha, i always beg to differ. but it's quite true in some sense. i really do missed you. At times i always blame myself and i do felt guilty for not replying you seriously. Regret. yes i do. regret for not telling you how i was feeling, regret for being a timid mouse and run away. maybe i wasn't ready yet and when i was, you were already gone. all i could say it was fated. time/ fate playing a joke with us. but if we are fated to be together, eventually we will. yes i only realised it now. to be honest i really don't know what's the reason why i couldn't let this feeling go. maybe someday i will find out but not now. someday, we will meet someone right (:

woke up from my nap just now feeling inspired, that's why i decided to let go. i penned it down to remind myself. of course it wasn't easy to let go everything and someone who's important, within secs, mins, hrs or days. if not i wouldn't have hold it for sooooo long right. i just need to know that life goes on no matter what have changed. i just need to know that as long as people that i cared are happy and i'm happy, be it i'm in their life or not, that's enough. I just need to know that i won't take things for granted anymore.

Frankly speaking i just wish to be happy and people to be happy if they feel happier off without me, i'm fine and i don't think people really care whether i'm happy or unhappy. So.....

The only thing that i can do for myself is to brace myself up and walk down the road happily and positivitely. (: