Guess what? i'm back here again. never did i expect myself coming back to blog. yes blog!

perhaps i just need some space and this little space happened to be somewhere where i can think of. Everything is just making me so suffocating. honestly EVERYTHING. i would say that my life is in a complete mess, alhough it doesn't seems to be. yes not at all. define everything. i don't know but i'm just... NOT HAPPY. I'M NOT HAPPY! not at all. nothing seems to make me happy. honestly. i really hates how things have become like this year. seriously. i really hates the feeling of people walking out my life when they meant so much to me. the feeling of losing someone important really sucks. last year i lost one and this year another one. i really dont know what happened? i really don't know whether the problem is with me or just people choose to leave. you know.but why did they have to? maybe i'm just not good enough or maybe i don't mean as much as how they mean to me. maybe? lots of question marks have been running round my head. what can i do? seriously? i really don't know? i felt that there's no point pulling people walking back to my life when they have already chose to leave and move on. seriously. yes move on. what can do when people have already move on? yes and i'm not. sucks. maybe i used to take things for granted? and this is my punishment.

BUT. sigh. i just want them back so badly but i know things have changed no matter what i do we can't be like the past. THEY WON'T BE BACK ANYMORE. so conclucion stop trying so hard? till now there's no answer yet. guess i shall just be some nobody. no difference. another thing would be my future. i really really really don't know what to do seriously. trying hard to figure what am i supposed to do? DREAMS? what's my dreams? i don't like what i'm studying now, seriously. hate it totally. every time when im studying for exams, the thoughts of giving up & why am i doing this as in something that i don't like, never fails to come to my mind seriously. tears just keep flowing, all i can do is to tell myself to pull it through since i've already made it so far. but after i graduate. do i have to remind myself this throughout the rest of my life? noooooo. arghhhh why am i so fail. whatever it is. i just hope that things will eventually gets better. really please make it happen.